


Are You Leading or Am I?

by rqchelweisz



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:15:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24580672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rqchelweisz/pseuds/rqchelweisz
Summary: What would have gone down in the ballroom if Rhianne hadn’t interrupted them?
Relationships: Eve Polastri/Villanelle | Oksana Astankova
Comments: 4
Kudos: 150





	Are You Leading or Am I?

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at like 2 am last night in the midst of a Villaneve breakdown. This is my rendition of the ballroom scene if Rhianne hadn’t rudely interrupted.

The entire afternoon leading up to it, Eve had been plagued with nerves. Villanelle had asked her to meet, in a ballroom, which to Eve, seemed incredibly unconventional given their history. In the past, their meetings were either spontaneous and high energy or tense and filled with strife. But this time, it was different. Both women were more relaxed. Both had let their guard down. And in a way, Eve had begun to trust Villanelle. She knew she wanted something from Eve, and she was eager to find out what. 

Upon entering the ballroom, she immediately spotted Villanelle from across the room, sitting at a table with an empty set, presumably reserved for Eve. Her hair was down, an unfamiliar sight, and she approached her with caution, unsure of what the confrontation might hold for them. 

“Hi,” Eve said.

“Hi,” Villanelle responded, quietly. She seemed happy to see her, she seemed softer. She seemed like Oksana. 

“How are you?” Eve asked, in a genuine manner. Villanelle only gave a slight nod in response, yet that was all Eve needed to know. 

“How are you?” She returned the question, to which Eve also hesitated to respond. It was as if they could communicate without their words. They could see it in each other's eyes, they knew how the other was feeling in that moment. Eve smiled at the assassin, then relaxed and took a seat beside her. 

“Why here?”

“I did my first ever kill in this country here. Strangled a high ranking police officer. He was a tango champion,” Villanelle admitted, and Eve looked at her, a bit shocked at how nonchalantly she was able to make such an admission. Her blunt personality was something that Eve was still getting used to. 

“Imagine if I’d refused,” Villanelle continued, “What do you think I would’ve become? Interior designer, maybe.” She said, obviously rambling. Eve could tell she was upset about something. 

“If you had, it would’ve saved me a lot of heartache.” She said, in an attempt to lighten the mood. It didn’t appear to work. Villanelle’s thoughts were drowned out by the classical music playing in the background as she drew her focus to the couples on the dance floor. 

“Niko’s in the hospital, Dasha stabbed him through the neck and blamed it on you.” Eve stated, desperate to get some type of reaction out of Villanelle, to start a conversation. She simply sat there, seemingly perplexed. 

“Are you listening to me?” Eve asked. 

“Do you think about the past?” Villanelle asked, changing the subject. 

“All the time. It’s all I think about.” Eve admitted, truthfully. Villanelle had almost entirely occupied her thoughts for the better part of that last two years.

“It’s nice to watch them,” Villanelle said, while her attention remained on the dancers. “They seem happy, carefree.”

“Well, dancing will do that.”

“I want to feel like that.” Villanelle conceded, her eyes welling with tears. Eve immediately knew something was off. She wasn’t one to cry, at least not genuine tears. 

“What happened?” Eve began to pry. Villanelle simply sat there as a lump rose in her throat. She didn’t want to break down in front of Eve and show her a weak side of her. Eve wouldn’t be used to that, and Villanelle wasn’t ready to be vulnerable like that. 

As they looked at each other longingly, they were interrupted by a man urging them to dance with the rest of the crowd. 

Eve smiled at the man while Villanelle made a face to mock him. They both wanted nothing more than to dance with each other and finally share a delicate, intimate moment that wasn’t filled with anger and built up tension, yet they were both too stubborn to admit it. It had to take another person in order to get them to dance. 

“Come on then,” Eve encouraged her, with a twinge of annoyance in her voice. 

“Dancing’s not my thing.” Villanelle replied. 

“Mine neither, but it’s good to try new things.” Eve said as she continued out onto the dance floor. Villanelle was still sitting at the table, and Eve rolled her shoulder and flashed a brief smile at her in order to coax her onto the dance floor. Reluctantly and awkwardly, she stood up and approached Eve. Their right hands intertwined as Eve placed her left hand in the small of Villanelle’s back and Villanelle placed hers on Eve’s shoulder. She didn’t tense up as she may have in the past. It was comfortable, more relaxed between them. Their dynamic had shifted. 

“Are you leading or am I?” Eve snapped. 

“I have no idea.” Villanelle whispered in reply. They struggled to find their footing for a minute, but once they did, they eased into a swift two-step motion, copying those around them. Villanelle was overcome with happiness as she was swaying in Eve’s arms. She closed her eyes so as to take in the full moment, with her nose poking Eve’s hair. She couldn’t help but notice the faint scent of lavender shampoo that Eve had used. For some reason, it made her feel at home. She’s missed that smell. 

Eve’s eyes drew closed as well as she took in the moment. She never wanted it to end. 

As for Villanelle, she reopened her eyes, glancing at the other people, dancing around them on the floor. They probably led normal lives. They probably did mundane things, like watching movies, eat breakfast together. Things Villanelle never had done in the company of another person. Things that Eve used to be able to do with somebody. Things they could now do together. 

“Do you want to be like that?” She asked, in reference to those people.

“Not anymore.” Eve responded. 

“Why not?” Villanelle asked.

“We’d never make it that long,” Eve admitted, to which Villanelle was taken aback. She thought Eve would think of her relationship with Niko, but rather it seemed as though the possibility of a relationship with Villanelle had crossed Eve’s mind. “We’d consume each other before we got old.”

Villanelle chuckled. At that moment, she realized that she wanted few things more than to grow old with Eve. 

“Sounds kind of nice,” She admitted, with her head resting against Eve’s as they continued to slowly sway back and forth. 

“I’ve killed so many people, Eve.” Villanelle said, in a stark contrast to what they’d just been talking about, with tears welling up in her eyes. 

All Eve could respond with was “I know,” which was a statement that made Villanelle feel almost immediate relief. A simple two words could make her feel so at home and so accepted when everybody else had left her. 

Eve shifted so that she could look at Villanelle once more and as she gazed into her watery eyes, she smiled up at her. 

“Are you happy?” She asked, referring to what Villanelle had mentioned at the table before. She nodded in response. 

“Are you?” Villanelle asked her. Eve carefully considered her answer, weighing her options. But she knew in her heart that right now was the happiest she had felt in a long time. 

“Yeah, I think I am.” 

Villanelle smiled, knowing that she was responsible for at least part of that happiness. And in that moment, Villanelle knew she had never trusted anyone more than she trusted Eve. 

“I killed my mother, Eve.” She blurted. It had taken her courage to make such an admission, but it felt like a weight was immediately lifted off her shoulders after she did. The dam that had been holding back her tears was about to collapse. 

Shocked, Eve looked at her, wondering what she could mean. She thought Villanelle’s family was dead? She stood there, waiting for her to elaborate. 

“I found my family in Russia. I thought they were dead, Eve. But I found them, and I did feel like it was my home for a bit. But my mother, she was so… rude.” Villanelle rambled, letting go of everything she’d wanted to say about her family while they still held each other close in the middle of the dance floor. “I have brothers too, three of them. And she was rude to them too, even the littlest one. I remember going through that, as a child, and I didn’t want him to have to too. I had to kill her, Eve. She didn’t love me, she didn’t want me. She gave me up, she threw me away like garbage. I had to kill her.” At this point, she was on the verge of sobbing. Eve didn’t know what to say, she wasn’t used to seeing Villanelle so vulnerable, so emotional. 

“I’m here. I got you, I’m here.” She repeated as Villanelle cried into her shoulder, making a bit of a scene on the dance floor as the music came to a close and the couples surrounding them began to return to their tables. Eve was desperate to soothe Villanelle, but she has no idea how to. 

Suddenly, Villanelle raised her head from Eve’s shoulder and took her by surprise. 

“Kiss me, Eve.” She looked at her with tears still in her eyes. She wanted to be comforted by the person she loved most in the world. 

“What?” Eve responded, clearly taken aback. 

“Kiss me, like you did on the bus.” Villanelle repeated, yet Eve remained stunned and apprehensive. 

Then, ever so gently, Villanelle removed her hand that had been resting Eve’s shoulder and placed her pointer finger under her chin, gently tilting her head up. She drew her lips toward Eve’s and passionately kissed her, suppressing a smile. With her other hand, she removed it from Eve’s grasp and cupped her cheek. Eve was reluctant to kiss back, but she clasped her hands around Villanelle’s head, parted her lips and eased into the kiss, savoring the moment. In unison, after a few seconds, they pulled apart and with Villanelle’s hand still cupping Eve’s cheek, they gazed into each other's eyes, in their own world, oblivious to the crowd around them. 

After snapping back to reality, with the music quieted and the dance floor empty, they couldn’t help but smile. 

“It looks like we made quite a scene.” Villanelle joked, while looking around at the couples who were ogling at her and Eve, the only two who remained on the dance floor. Eve laughed in reply, then sank her head into Villanelle’s shoulders as they came in for another embrace. 

“Let’s get out of here.” Villanelle whispered into Eve’s ear. 

“Where to?” She asked, curious as to what kind of mischievous plan she had devised. 

“I know a place.” Villanelle replied and hand in hand, she escorted her out of the ballroom through the group of people who still had their eyes on the two after their scene on the dance floor, and they couldn’t help but laugh at the bizarre situation. 

Together, the pair walked out of the ballroom in total bliss, into the night, with their hands held and their spirits high. Right then, Eve realized that she finally felt completely comfortable in Villanelle’s presence. It had taken a long time for her to get to that point, as it was difficult to come to terms with. But she knew, deep down, that she had feelings for Villanelle, and nobody would make her feel the way she did. Nobody compared to Villanelle. And despite everything that Villanelle had experienced over the past month, despite her familial strife and her broken relationship with Konstantin, she felt comfortable too. She took solace in knowing that she finally had someone to trust and confide in. She finally had Eve, and knew that nobody would ever make her feel as happy, carefree, and at home as Eve could.


End file.
